Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Misusing the power of "No"

Day 39/365... Shit, something crawled up his craw again...

My Fellow Inmates,

When you play a scene a delicate balancing act occurs. The bottom allows another human being to assume the responsibility for their safety for a brief sexual encounter. High levels of trust are in play, and hopefully with this kind of power exchange one would have had a conversation of five with the person you are about to play with long before the locks clicked shut.

Remember kids, as we seem to keep dying, and not always by our own hands, we need to start thinking about what we are doing. There is no harm in proceeding cautiously in to an encounter with someone that you have just met.

Is that cum worth everything? Honestly?

So yes, there is actually a place for the word 'No' in all of this. As in "No thank you."; "No, I am not interested." "No, I am getting my hair done." & Shaking you head violently no as you back quickly out of the coffee shop where you met the supposed brutal leather top that showed up wearing pastels...

But once your in a scene... lets look at this,

In the middle of a scene you are completely immobile, things are getting rough, your brain is having issues keeping up with your dick which is raging so the top is reading your dick...

You feel you can't take it anymore so you call out adamantly "No" and "Stop", the top checks with you, and you confirm.

Yes, the scene has just ended, abruptly so, on the bottom's say so. He tapped out per say. Any top worth his salt, or in his right mind would end it there if the bottom is serious, the 4th wall has been broken, fantasy gone...

That scene ended disastrously, think that top is going to want you back out?

So then, am I saying never safe word if you are given one? Oh hell no!

Remember, just like life exists in stages, scenes exist on communication.

The woman trapped in the alley is going to say 'Leave me alone' long before she screams 'Rape'.

And although it is easy to get trapped in ones own mind during a scene, communication is key: "Sir, I don't think I can take the electro any higher." is a very respectful way to say 'back off a bit'.

Safewording should be last resort, akin to pulling a fire alarm, and the word 'No' should never come up in a scene. If you find yourself actually doing so your attempts at respectfull communication have already been ignored and you are fearing for your safety.

Period, end of story.

But then again, what do I know, I don't play with safewords... we shall call that a subject for another time :-)

With That, Visiting Time Is Over.

What Ever You Do Don't Scream Too Loud As Others Are Trying To Sleep.