My Fellow Inmates,
Today a boy left me a message on Yahoo messenger asking me if I was free on Friday evening... This in its own right spawns today's topic...
Right this moment, there are boys out there that I have talked to over the years, perhaps even played with, who sit in wait, expecting that eventually I will send them a message telling them I have finally come to my senses and want them back... My god, I cant live without them, hurry now before I blow my load upon the keyboard as I type....
Yeah...
So this boy sends me a message and asks of me if I am free to pay attention to him this weekend, and what does he get in response? An invite to join WetsuitJay, Rottie and I to our home on the island, where we are meeting new pups that just relocated to this area..
So what is my point then...
Look, I have many people that want my attention, Many people that have come and played and want to come back... Many people who have met us and want to come play... and many people who have never met me but fight hard on the internet to garner my attention in the hopes that they will get an invite up..
Is this ego? No... Look, here is the point, with me, with any other Top, or with anything that you want in life...
If you sit on the sidelines hoping that karma will drop your expectations in your lap... you will get to know the sidelines well...
Those boys that chance rejection, and yes does it suck.... but those boys that chance rejection, on the off chance that they get a positive response... These are the ones that cause people to notice, be it play or real life...
Show me that you are willing to put your soul on the line...
Show me that you are willing to chance that I am busy..
What makes this boy special is that once his gear goes on he sinks deep in to submissive territory, and I have watched him be a toy at a party that all fucked with. I have watched him get off on this as he was in the right head space..
And I know that if I would have told him "I am sorry, pup, I am busy." That he would have been disappointed, but he would have asked again in a week or two.
We play deep emotional games. I respect those most that are willing to show themselves fully open to me before we are ever willing to enter the playroom...
So you may get a no....
So you may hear that I am not interested...
So you may not be my type...
But what if you never asked, because you assumed you were not, and ended up wondering for ever if you handed up a chance to come visit by never asking...
In playrooms as it is in life...
You want to be a writer? Finish the damn Novel...
You want to be a runner? Lose the damn weight...
For my first play scene ever I contacted a top I really wanted to play with, and was told I was too fat for his tastes... I worked the nest year and lost 50 pounds, and contacted the same top back again... To this day that first scene is still one of my most memorable...
yes it is easy to say "fuck you if you dont want me as I am."
But many people forget that there actually is competition out there, and for every person who is unwilling to fight for what they want there are 10 who will, I did... How serious are you?
Life isn't easy, and its too short to question how you will feel if you fail... it happens, its life... this is why they make Prozac.
Man up, live it... and if you want it, take it... If you can't handle it, step aside...
With That, Visiting Time Is Over. What Ever You Do Don't Scream Too Loud As Others Are Trying To Sleep.
~Rubberasylum
EXTREMELY well put. Summarizes a whole lot of ideas that have been bouncing around in my head as well.
ReplyDeleteEven though I put in a profile that I'm not interested in dimwits, parasites, and dead fish, a lot of e-mail comes through with nothing more than "hot", or "when can I come over?" These faceless, wordless profiles with three word e-mails (two of which are misspelled) are somehow supposed to make me just want to drop everything and throw the dungeon doors wide open?
Or better....a profile that does have pics....all of them with the guy in a hood and gag....(I LOVE hoods and gags). The guy comes over and I start to put a hood on him. "Ummmm. I don't really like hoods." Jeez Louise.
So yeah. Prove yourself and you get the invite back. Show some respect and patience and I'll truly look for a time to play. "Right now" almost never happens and if you're only interested in talking to me when your dick is hard we probably won't get along. Carry on a reasonable conversation? Move to the head of the list.
Thanks for a great blog. And a great blog entry. And some fucking videos that blow my mind.
So true, RA. I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by requests for 'introductions' to rubber play, etc. by guys that I can understandably want to try it (or say they have some experience in it) but don't own anything of their own, don't know what to do, and expect me to provide all gear, all direction, all role playing ideas, and on and on.
ReplyDeleteEven though I've told most of them I've been injured and sick the past three months, focusing on developing a new relationship and generally not feeling like babysitting grown men, they continue to message me incessantly.
I appreciate the ones that message occasionally seemingly saying, 'hey there, just making sure you remember me and I'm really interested in coming over again when possible', rather than the ones that are on you on what seems to be a weekly basis and can't remember details of their last visit.
I guess we all have our own tolerance levels. Thanks for the post, brought many of my own thoughts to print!