Saturday, January 22, 2011

Pictures: Demon Dogs & Bondage Tables

Day 22/365... And They Said Dennis Rodman Was Weird...

My Fellow Inmates...

Have you ever seen the movies "The Gate"? "Hellraiser"? "End Of Days"? "The Exorcist"? "Milo and Otis"?

Ok, well perhaps not that last one... And shit, now I got side tracked, what was I talking about...

...Just wait, it will come to me...

...hmmm....

Oh, yeah...

HELL!!

DAMNATION!!

PEEWEE'S PLAYHOUSE RERUNS!!!

Do you know what you shall be doing when the rapture comes? After all the religious people are gone?

(...all the religious people gone... Thank you Jesus....)

Do you have a plan?

Ok, well sure we would have to loot, I mean there is this 3-D TV i have had my eyes on... Oh and I am sure there will be some beautiful homes available... and shit, imagine all the nice cars just left in the streets...

But after that, when you are lounging on the side of the pool, soaking up the unseasonably warm weather, brushing the ten pounds of bling out of the way so you can sip your Mai Tai, as you watch the beautiful colors brought on by the jets of flame streaking across the night sky...

Do you have a fucking plan!!??

I didn't think so...

So then, what do you do when an armored Anubis walks through your front door?

Well I say fuck it! You're at eternity anyway, and let's be honest. He wasn't stopping by to barrow a cup of sugar. Enjoy yourself! Tie the fucker up! Torture it! Enjoy yourself...

Because if you think about it... In about 15 minutes, about 200 of his friends are going to be there, and they are going to fuck you up...

...We are talking locked in a room with an overly friendly wolverine with an unquenchable libido and an endless supply of Viagra type fucked up...

...And we are talking raped to the beat of Hanson's "Mmm Bop" on endless loop type fucked up...

So yes, torture it... Enjoy yourself while you can, but just remember a few tips from your uncle Asylum...

Holy water just seems to piss it off, and it keeps eating the damn heads of garlic...

So if you figure out something to hurt it with... Please let me know...

...Soon...














...With that, the Wolverine is Waiting....

Whatever you do, don't scream too loud as others are trying to sleep.

~Rubberasylum
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