Monday, June 22, 2009

Asylum Slipped his cuffs

My Fellow Inmates,


Well I have some bad news to share this week. Asylum has fallen from his wagon and is now smoking again…Sigh… Yes, I know, I know… And as much as WetsuitJay says he is fine with it I can think of nicer things to ask someone who treats me as well as he does to put up with than “Smoke Smell”.


I have placed an order for one of these new electronic cigarettes that supposedly have no smell to them and replace the smoke with Vapor. Basically it’s a nicotine delivery system. I am hoping this shall be a happy middle ground that will allow me to be bad and not carry my habit with me wherever I go.


But in my own defense, we all have our individual vices, and I want everyone here in this room to raise their hand who feels that they are free from sin…


See, it’s unanimous… Just think of the great company we shall all have in the afterlife… and I also hear that Riverfront property along the Styx is selling for good prices in this economy.


…And with everything on fire, I will never have to worry about not having a light… We shall all be smoking… Silver linings people… Silver linings… J


Ok…Ok… Asylum has also been caught this week with his hand in the cookie jar and must admit that he is a fucking hypocrite…


I did not have sexual relations with that boy…


Actually, a reader of this blog messaged me and asked “Um… why do you still show an account on R***n? I thought you said you were done with them!”


Well I was… And then…


Imagine this, if you were a protester against the marijuana prohibition in this country and you decided to march on the White House, with joint in hand, all by yourself… What would happen?


I have found in this world that unless you’re Chuck Norris, a one man army is going to do more damage than good…


And with so many that actually use the Pigfuckers messaging system I decided that I was just losing out in contacts and was doing no good beyond that. So yes, I am a Hypocrite. Except for one thing… I may have an Account on there, but it is a free one. R***n shall never see a single dime of my money, Ever!


If people stop paying them, and we all treat them as a free site then they will cave under their own weight. This will take a large number of people to do. Frankly this will never happen. Perhaps a hypocrite, but a realist as well.


All that aside this weekend we are hosting some friends from down in Portland: Hockeyman and MnWetsuit will be coming up for pride and play this upcoming weekend and hopefully we should see some new vids and pix from those sessions.


Hockeyman and I shall probably get in to some Down play and WetsuitJay and MnWetsuit will get the divegear thing going. This will probably be one of the last playsessions that we will get to have before we move.


Then all shall be quiet on this western front for a while.


I look at this blog as a journal of sorts. One that others read. As I have said before Asylum is an open book and so journeys into my past shall not be that uncommon. I still need to tell the tale of Slave danny under Mr. Mitchell.


That still shall be coming, just need to find the time.


With that visiting time is over and the guards grow antsy…

Take care, and what ever you do don't scream too loud, others are trying to sleep

Rubberasylum

Monday, June 15, 2009

THAT ASSHOLE RUBBERASYLUM!

My Fellow Inmates,


First I wish to say Happy Sunday… at least that was the initial plan… obviously I am a day late... This is truly PAR for the course recently though.


My new intentions are to post once a week every Saturday or Sunday night. Beyond the fact we have been very busy with the new house, there is no reason for me not to hop on and vent once a week… Since I don’t have time to torture boys at the moment I may as well torture the world…


On that note. I have said this before, but since I am returning from a long sabbatical I shall reiterate for any new readers I have picked up. You should know now… after reading the Asylum blog you could end up finding your shoes full of urine…


I am not nice, I call life as I see it, I offend all and no one is free from the swing of my bat… Especially myself.


Know now: If you offend easily or are touchy… Click away now! The telletubbies have a great site that is warm and fuzzy and makes us all feel like the world is flat and colors of the rainbow run in shades of grey…


A quick history here: I am a Gay Jew… if I was black as well I would probably already be in prison under the three strikes rule. As have most of us here my pathway to this point in life has been lined by hydrochloric acid coated glass:


From the Jehovah’s Witless girl in high school that walked up to me one day and told me since the Jews were the chosen people and we killed Christ, we are all going to burn in hell… Pleasant… Yet I forgive her, as it has to be hard to form logical thought with the imprint of a doorknocker in your forehead.


I have lived in a shotgun shack on 40 acres of horse ranch 10 miles away from Haden Lake Idaho in the 1990s before the Neo-Nazi’s lost that land, where I could not list my last name in the phone book, and my landlords favorite term was “I n****r for no one”


I have lived on the Cour’d Alene Indian reservation where the Native American who ran the local smoke shop/convenience store talked through the last two blackened nibs in his mouth that were brought to us all by the makers of Meth…


I have lived in the Latino ghetto off of West casino road in Everett Washington where I watched mothers smoking their crack pipes in the open while their toddlers, dressed in nothing but diapers, ran in and out of the passing cars in the parking lot free without any supervision…


… And I have lived right next to the African American ghetto, known as “The Jungle”, one of the worst apartment complexes in Washington State, where I watched the DEA break down a neighbor’s door and storm the place to break up a Heroin ring...



… and lets not mention the 4th of July there where a passer-by took a point blank gunshot to the face over Twenty dollars in his pocket…


…and lets not mention that the first time WetsuitJay came to see me at my old apartment that he was held at gunpoint by the cops in the parking lot after leaving my place because he fit the description of someone who had just beat the shit out of his Girlfriend…


I have travelled from the lap of luxury, growing up in a household that thrived under the concept of Reganomics, to the edges of ruin on food stamps and welfare because my Ex did not have health insurance, and became very sick…


It’s amazing to see how uncompassionate doctors can be when they think they won’t get paid…


“PREACH IT BROTHER!”


Besides my heritage and sexual proclivities, I am as white bread as the day is long… But after viewing this world sans rose tinted glasses, and after the way the world (Read: Mormons) did us over in California of all places with Prop 8…


Well if you think for one moment that I am just going to stand here and smile while you tell me I am not allowed to poke fun at other peoples differences, and greyline subjects of the populace, after the time I have put into this sanitarium we call modern day society….


…You are going to end up with a wet Tennis Shoe….


But then again, you may want to take this all with a grain of salt. As it is coming from a Poofta Juden.


With that visiting time is over and the guards grow antsy…

Take care, and what ever you do don't scream too loud, others are trying to sleep

Rubberasylum

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Return of the Rubber Mac

My Fellow Inmates,


So after an interminable delay and many messages from many good people advising me that not only they read my blog and please continue, but beyond that my 2 month absence had caused some concern to many...

Well here I am to let you know that I have not been raped, kidnapped or stuffed in to a trunk of a 1984 AMC Gremlin on its way to Tijuana with duct tape over my mouth and a Mr S Bigboy in my ass...

This is not saying this would be a bad thing mind you...

I just realized that I had been so busy that the last update of pictures or Video came from Rubberfreak's visit in February...

I actually have very few excuses... all I can say is the nurses ran out of the good stuff and I have been locked in solitary in a leather jacket and metal mask as they have continuously made the futile attempt at stabilization...

While in the happy delusion of normality that we all harbor as the backstage staff continues to medicate us, we have bought a new asylum and are remodeling it as we speak...

Let me tell you... There is nothing more miserable than 5 hours in a respirator as you are scraping the next section of popcorn ceiling praying the former was your last...

As the sweat builds up between the mask and your face the interest in gasmasks and respirators begins to wane. You realize what a miserable reality this concept is and begin to pray for the fantasy to drift back in like a nitrous haze upon a tortured mind...

Basically it sucks...

And that is where yours truly has been for the last few months...

But as the sun sets on the new undertaking, we realize what kind of playspaces asylum will be left with...

and once again it’s worth it...

I also must share that asylum learned what kind of misery that a concept called Chiggers are....

We got hit with these a few days ago...

They are now gone as we fogged for them...

Why would I share this?

I must say, I don’t know if anyone has ever been bitten on the shaft of the dick by a bug before, but for the last few days I have had the most intense orgasms I have ever had...

Viva Los Chiggers...

it is a feeling I have never had... an intensity that is unmatched and unrivaled...

very few things alter my orgasms. Previously the only thing that could change the typical "stroke, stroke, gasp, cum" was Marijuana...

Yea I know it’s a drug and I know a lot of you do not agree with it and that is fine... I haven’t touched it in two years...

But when I did, well... OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!... My cum factory was paying overtime...

No don’t get me wrong, I am not saying one should try pot as it will make your orgasms echo ten fold from their normal standpoints… It hits everyone differently, it may make you just sag in to the couch with a bag of lays purchased upon your bulbous belly that continues to grow with every puff of the pipe…

Or it could make you paint the ceiling….

In fact the last time I tried pot I ended up in the emergency room with a hardcore panic attack, finding myself being injected with emergency tranquilizers to try to offset the drugs coursing through my system…

Not what I would recommend… But the emergency tranqs… DAMN!!!... Run me a tab and set me up an extra order to go please, shaken not stirred. J

Asylum is an open book…. As always… no remorse no apologies...

Also one more piece of great news that just happened yesterday…

Asylum’s Roommate “WetsuitJay” is now Asylum’s Partner “WetsuitJay”…

I have never in my life met a bigger pain in my ass, and a sweeter person. The perfect mix to keep boredom staved off…

Life is good…

Now to just find a team of unregistered illegal’s fresh over the boarder from Mexico city with a paint can in one hand, a hammer in the other, and a healthy fear of the term “La Migra”…

Well then the house should be done fairly quickly…

As always Fuck PC! Asylum is back J

With that visiting time is over and the guards grow antsy…

Take care, and what ever you do don't scream too loud, others are trying to sleep

Rubberasylum
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