Monday, June 15, 2009

THAT ASSHOLE RUBBERASYLUM!

My Fellow Inmates,


First I wish to say Happy Sunday… at least that was the initial plan… obviously I am a day late... This is truly PAR for the course recently though.


My new intentions are to post once a week every Saturday or Sunday night. Beyond the fact we have been very busy with the new house, there is no reason for me not to hop on and vent once a week… Since I don’t have time to torture boys at the moment I may as well torture the world…


On that note. I have said this before, but since I am returning from a long sabbatical I shall reiterate for any new readers I have picked up. You should know now… after reading the Asylum blog you could end up finding your shoes full of urine…


I am not nice, I call life as I see it, I offend all and no one is free from the swing of my bat… Especially myself.


Know now: If you offend easily or are touchy… Click away now! The telletubbies have a great site that is warm and fuzzy and makes us all feel like the world is flat and colors of the rainbow run in shades of grey…


A quick history here: I am a Gay Jew… if I was black as well I would probably already be in prison under the three strikes rule. As have most of us here my pathway to this point in life has been lined by hydrochloric acid coated glass:


From the Jehovah’s Witless girl in high school that walked up to me one day and told me since the Jews were the chosen people and we killed Christ, we are all going to burn in hell… Pleasant… Yet I forgive her, as it has to be hard to form logical thought with the imprint of a doorknocker in your forehead.


I have lived in a shotgun shack on 40 acres of horse ranch 10 miles away from Haden Lake Idaho in the 1990s before the Neo-Nazi’s lost that land, where I could not list my last name in the phone book, and my landlords favorite term was “I n****r for no one”


I have lived on the Cour’d Alene Indian reservation where the Native American who ran the local smoke shop/convenience store talked through the last two blackened nibs in his mouth that were brought to us all by the makers of Meth…


I have lived in the Latino ghetto off of West casino road in Everett Washington where I watched mothers smoking their crack pipes in the open while their toddlers, dressed in nothing but diapers, ran in and out of the passing cars in the parking lot free without any supervision…


… And I have lived right next to the African American ghetto, known as “The Jungle”, one of the worst apartment complexes in Washington State, where I watched the DEA break down a neighbor’s door and storm the place to break up a Heroin ring...



… and lets not mention the 4th of July there where a passer-by took a point blank gunshot to the face over Twenty dollars in his pocket…


…and lets not mention that the first time WetsuitJay came to see me at my old apartment that he was held at gunpoint by the cops in the parking lot after leaving my place because he fit the description of someone who had just beat the shit out of his Girlfriend…


I have travelled from the lap of luxury, growing up in a household that thrived under the concept of Reganomics, to the edges of ruin on food stamps and welfare because my Ex did not have health insurance, and became very sick…


It’s amazing to see how uncompassionate doctors can be when they think they won’t get paid…


“PREACH IT BROTHER!”


Besides my heritage and sexual proclivities, I am as white bread as the day is long… But after viewing this world sans rose tinted glasses, and after the way the world (Read: Mormons) did us over in California of all places with Prop 8…


Well if you think for one moment that I am just going to stand here and smile while you tell me I am not allowed to poke fun at other peoples differences, and greyline subjects of the populace, after the time I have put into this sanitarium we call modern day society….


…You are going to end up with a wet Tennis Shoe….


But then again, you may want to take this all with a grain of salt. As it is coming from a Poofta Juden.


With that visiting time is over and the guards grow antsy…

Take care, and what ever you do don't scream too loud, others are trying to sleep

Rubberasylum