Sunday, November 22, 2009

Instanity takes a back seat to general frothing at the mouth

My Fellow Inmates,

Christmas is in the air... The Decorations began going up yesterday and I am in a happy mood, so before the weekly posting begins, we are going to take a short step sideways into the land of no return.

Hold on to your hats, strap yourself in, and whatever you do, dont look back... Its just not pretty, I promice... Pillars of salt and all...

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Sung to the tune of "Sleigh Ride"...

We'll hear those chains jing jingling
While I'm fingering you
Such aweful weather
For that sleigh ride together
So lets Screw!

Giddy up! Giddy up! Giddy Up!
You'll hear me say
We have all day
Due to the rainy weather
We'll dress you in leather
Now time for some Pony Play

Get it up! Get it up! Get it Up!
Lets Go!
I'm Horney you know
The popper pig is a swilling
In a minute I'm willing
To bet your face'll look like its covered in Snow

You'll hear those boys scream screaming
with their dicks ting tingling too
With the electro ramping
Your postrate is cramping
You're Screwed

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck,
where is that key
to set you free
Oh well we shall not worry
cause I'm in no hurry
So get down upon your knees

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
you stupid fag!
You need a gag
You know it would be good if
You were a hooded
Just hop in that Bondage bag

And now that we're done a-whoring
And your Softly snoring, Amen
I will be back in an hour
And you'll be deflowered
Again.

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And Now for Something Completely Different....



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News of the hour.... Seattle Washington....

Rubberasylum, and WetsuitJay's Playroom takes leaps and bounds as they prepare for a Thanksgiving Weekend Rubber Party...

Attemps have been made to post the pictures of the most recent renovations on the play space, but due to what seems like technical difficulties in the Club section, we will have to wait for video of the event after the fact.

We interviewed a close neighbor, Ima Biatch, on the subject, and here is what she had to say:

"What are those perverted faggots up to now? I mean Jesus Christ, my propery values have dropped enough!"

We attempted to interview her some more, but Biatch frothed so much that she spontaniously combusted before we had a chance.

More on this story as the events unfold...


-Crispian St. Peters, A.P. Newtwork News.

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And Now a message from our sponsor


HENRY:


"We have had terrible problems with our old laundry detergent recently, even after a whole wash, my wife Martha, has noticed that my shirts still come out of the wash with dingy ring around the collar. We didn't know what to do!"

MARTHA:

"Jesus Christ Henry! Wash your Fucking Neck!"



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Things that make you go Hmm....



Have you ever noticed that the guy that actually wins these Rubber and Leather contests is usually the Fugliest Mother Fucker in the Group of Three?



Here is the future thought for Fugly contest winners:



Note to self: Whipe Judges cum off of chin before posing for winning picture



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But then again, perhaps I'm just a jaded asshole... Yup, thats probably it :)



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With that visiting time is over and the guards grow antsy…

Take care, and what ever you do don't scream too loud, others are trying to sleep

-Rubberasylum-

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